Sunday, January 29, 2006

One more day......

Earlier today, I had brunch with my supervisor & coworkers.... I pushed aside the fact that tomorrow is my last day, and just simply enjoyed being in their company.
We ate at a reastaurant called, "Sam Jay's" in Merrickville. Soooooo good. I ate so much.
Last night was "Crazy busy" at Nicks, I loved it! My adrenelyn got so pumped, I was sky rocketing.... by the end of the night I was toast.

My ankle was throbbing from an insect bite I got the night before, and the constant moving around of the night had aggitated it. So when I woke up today... and couldn't walk, out came the crutches. I wasn't missing this day for the world. Luckily the Tylenol took the pain away, and the benedryl relieved the swelling....which explains why as soon as we finished brunch, within the first five minutes of driving I passed out. Think that's the first time my coworkers have ever seen me..... not all WiNgY.

I have so much to do I don't even know where to begin? After work tomorrow, I'm off to Belleville to visit an old friend for a few days. Then when I come back, I move to Ottawa.... and begin a frantic job search. Yipes!!! Better get my act into gear!

Friday, January 27, 2006

WRITTEN PROOF




I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THIS!!!!!! I OFFICIALLY HAVE WRITTEN PROOF!!!!!

I'm so excited..... Three years!!!! I've waited three YEARS... and two days before I leave, Ronda confesses!!
It says; I'm going to miss our Friday night "specials" And ya you know "I LOVE YA"

AND NO!!!!!!! I DIDN'T FORGE IT!!!!

For those of you, whom are confused and have one eye brow raised...... check out my post "Tribute"!!!!

My coworkers RULE!!!! Look at the beautiful flowers..... I'm at a loss for words. Thank you..... so much for adopting me, into your family.


I DID IT!!!!!!


Finally finished the "Gollum" painting!!!!! 6 hours...... hands and arms covered in paint and pastel..... BUT LOOK!!!!! Do you believe your eyes????? I did that. Me.
I was almost tempted to just use charcoal.... because it took two hours just to draw the thing..... and I was afraid I'd mess it up with color.
Believe that you can........ and your faith will move mountains.
That is by far the largest picture I've done so far, my first time using a canvas (Which was given to me by my sister, and sitting in my bedroom blank..... for months, while I contemplated on what to paint.... and here it is!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

A Hint Of Words

As much I want to tell the world about the book I'm writing..... I must remember to keep all those details to myself.
A hint???

A journey of young girl.... struggling to find identity. Headed in the wrong direction, a stranger to herself, and trapped..... all she has is "poetry".

Small town, big talk, so many rumours,
they think they know, how life's supposed to go, never had a chance no one knew her.
Shuts out the world, becomes withdrawn, lost the encouragement from her real friends.
No big deal, it doesn't matter, can't trust no one, no one understands.....
What she feels inside..... she built these walls to hide behind.
Does no one care????

"Am I the only one? Who knows the right, but still does wrong?
Will I ever be happy again, with myself? I can't help.....
But wonder what is love???

I got this broken heart"

She got down on her knees, the tears streamed down her cheeks, she needed desperately to feel............

"God please help me, I'm so lost, I'm so incomplete.... Please forgive, come and live in my heart"

I her heart..... she felt his Holy Love.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Don't Give Up On Me

I sit here with a world of knowledge at my finger tips..... I have the power and the ability to write anything, yet I know nothing. It all remains a mystery to me.
A mind so preoccuppied, comsumed with curiousity.... The battle begins.
Visualize the cross roads.... the intersection, and many directions, all of which will take you on a journey of
"The Unknown". It's scary, mind boggling, yet adventurous at the same time.
I'm left with a decision, it's tough.... challanging... disturbing.
I become restless.....
I try to separate myself from my emotions, and lose all meaning as I lose everything else in life.
It makes no sense...
A dark hole lies ahead of me, tormenting, beckoning..... and I refuse it..... I am so tired of this tug of war.

I've been down that deep dark hole before, and to go back would be to suffer for all eternity.

To my savior who never gave up on me; my love for you is endless.

Don't give up on me
"I don't know what to do, living with out you....... in my life.
Fading memories, a road of hopes and dreams....... still to come.
Father lead me home.

Early morning and your light shining down on me,
Pray for your guidance and the truth that will set me free,
I'm on my knee's..... so don't you give up on me.

I'm always by your side, don't be afraid to cry........ I'm still here.
Worrying too much, I'll heal you with my touch....... won't you come?
Child I'll lead you home.

Early morning and my light is shining down on you,
Trust me to guide you an I will lead you to the truth,
Always believe...... and don't you give up on me."

Once Upon A Time......

There I was; a child.
Lost.
In search of something.
Anything.

Until one day, I stumble upon a stone.
A pebble..... that I simply ignore.

The following week, I stumble upon a rock.
I pretend that it does not exist, and keep walking.

The next month, I stumble upon a boulder.
It is in my way, so I walk around it.

So by next year, when I stumble into a brick wall.....
I cannot ignore it, I cannot pretend that it does not exist, and I certainly can't walk around it.

I try to climb it, but it is too high.
I try to push it, but it does not budge.

For a moment, I've lost hope.
For a moment, I'd thought about giving up.

When suddenly it came to me..... how a pebble, a tiny stone, a little nothing....
In a year's time grew into a huge obstacle in my way!!! All of which could have been prevented,
had I not ignored it that day.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I put my trust in you

Now in the process of job searching.... I've got great experience to back me up, but the thought of starting over at something new, makes me feel so small.
I had my first taste of panick yesturday.
Swept over me, and before I knew it I was crying. So unexpected, and at the very worst moment...... I was in the car with my family.... and I'm the kind who perfers to hide tears. I've been trying so hard to focus, stay calm, and be tough.... that I've pushed aside how incredibly difficult this move is going to be. A whole new life style.... a new routine. I think that's it. I'm basic. I've become so accustomed to living small town, so comfortable.... so easy.
I'd have to say, that this is the hardest thing I've ever come to face in 21 years.

But in the end, I will gain more....... INDEPENDENCE!!!

I will get through this, God give me strength.
Take my hand, lead me in the right direction.
Fill my heart with passion Lord.....
I put my trust in you.
And if I cry, wipe my tears away.
If I'm lonely, let me know you are near.
If I shy away, let me shine.
Do not let me fear.
If I lose myself, bring me back again.
If I get turned down, all I need to know.... and all that matters,
is that you are with me till the end!
I put my trust in you.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Pet Peeves..... What are yours?

It's 2:30 am in the morning!!! What am I still doing up? That's it, I quit drinking coffee!
Thought I would fall asleep if I layed on my bed..... and what do I do? I play the keyboard!
In the dark.... surprising enough, I played better in pitch black then I do with the lights on.
I'm a wreck.... emotional roller coaster. I look like I haven't slept in weeks, and on the verge of a nervous break down. Matter of fact; about to have one now.
Hear nothing but the buzzing of computer and this studid friggin clock!!!! Tick tock tick tock....
I HATE CLOCKS!!!! Reminds me of every passing second, minute, hour!!!

Might as well throw in a few pet peeves while I'm at it.
1. Wet shoes laces... drives me nuts. Ahhhhhhhhh Just thinking about it. (Like nails scratching chalkboard irritation)

2. Humour at the expense of another's feelings

3. Loud clocks

4. Dull pencils (had to buy push pencils, because I sharpened my pencils too much)

5. Elevator eyes (would u like a picture? Or am I wearing something of yours?) Geesh

6. Hang nails

7. I HATE COMMERCIALS!!!! Which is probably good, for the reason that I don't watch that much T.V.

8. Snow down my boots

9. Getting things stuck in my hair...... !!!!

10. I love the water, swimming, sand everything!!! But keep me AWAY from "Sea weed"!!!

Ok.... I've worked out this mood I'm in! Feeling much better! Maybe now I can get some sleep!
Feel free to add to this list of your own "pet peeves", what makes you tick?

Tribute

The reality of moving to Ottawa is beginning to sink in.....
At work today, I had to train the new waitress whom will be taking my place. At first I think I overwhelmed her with my perkiness. I wanted to make a good impression, and most importantly make her feel welcome.
Not sure who was more nervous?? Her being her first day? Or I, having her observate everything that I did?
My luck.... the first table I take her to, I introduce her, explain that she is in training, and realize I forgot the menu's. HA ha ha!!!! As I ran to get them, I had to poke fun at myself, "Actually I think that I'm the one that's in training". Table had a good laugh, and my boss could not resist to add, "No.... not like you haven't been here for the last 3yrs."
Everything went along smoothly, and it finally occured to me; that this is it.

As a tribute to "Nick's" the top 13 MUST KNOWS!!

1) Feb. 19th, 2003..... My first day!!! My anniversary!!
I'll never forget it. The unthinkable happens! Truck began to stall on the 401, just made it to town with 5 min. to spare. Made it to a gas station, from where I had to sprint to work. Was 10 minutes late, and out of breath. Not very good impression for the first day. Luckily my boss was very understanding.

2) THE BEST "SOUVLAKI" EVER!!!!!!!! Take my word on this one folks!!! Highly recommended, and I stand by it! I am very much "addicted", soon U will be too!!!

3) Three years of working in a Greek Restaurant..... and the only Greek I know is: Ya Su Ti Catneese (Not even sure I spelled it right)
Means: Hi, how are you?

4) I've never spilled a plate of food!!! Officially one caesar and one coffee, which by fast reaction nobody got wet!!

5) Friday is my favorite day of the week!!!

6) I've had my last three birthdays at work!!!

7) The quickest, medical attention.... complete with first aid (bandaids, gauze, alcohol and a kiss to make it better) Nurse PD in the house!!

8) My last day is January 30th, 2006!

9) WE ARE ALL CrAzY!!!!!!

10) MD & PD are the best employers EVER!!!!! Not only have they taught me well, I've learned so much from them. I was just a young one when I started; shy, soft spoken, clumsy..... well actually I'm still clumsy.... BUT.. I've grown & matured, & developed long lasting friendships 4 life!!!!!

11) My coworkers...... wow, three years of endless stories. Ronda U R awesome!!!! U know U love me, I'm still waiting 4 U to admit it!!! U R my Friday "Special", wouldn't be the same without U & PD in the house! U girls crack me up.... behave while I'm gone. And please be careful with the new one, for a few weeks atleast.... she's fragile.
Danielle I will totally miss working with U!!! Some great times and great coffee high's!!!

12) I hold the record!!!!!! And proud of it!!! To make a long story short me and PD covered a full house all by ourselves on a Wed. night for 3 1/2 hours straight! Absolutely crazy.
Came through with $150.00 and survived! Would u believe that? Clumsy ol me & not one error!! PD you are my left hand couldn't have done it without U!!!

13) Among all the regulars..... I will never forget U Bob! U are the "Wind Beneath My Wings".
"Ahoy", to the U and the great live entertainment!!! I long to hear U play the harmonica again!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

An endless journey.......

It is when I think about what I write, that my imagination becomes restricted. My mind builds on unheard rules.... (the self critique). I hesitate.... I edit.... and read through what has just been written.
Instantly I become blocked up.

Thing with writing is..... it is like a relationship. I love it and I hate it. It frustrates the hell out of me.
It gives me my space, and I am patient when it comes down to it. I'm passionate about it, happy, angry but also forgiving. I make mistakes, and I can fix them.
I can be myself and write down exactly what I'm feeling, it is my voice, my opinion, my thoughts, my records.
It's rewarding, challenging, and well worth every second of my time. I look back to the beginning, but there is no moving back..... just small steps forward. A growing process. An endless journey.
For better or for worse...... till death do us part.

Another perspective; when I asked my boyfriend Dave, "What makes you tick?" His response, "I'm not a fantastic Musician, I'm not classically trained, My ear isnt great, I'm not a great singer, bassist, guitarist. I never will be. I'm fine with that. I love listening to music. I love trying to create music. To me anything important can be expressed through music. Many emotions ... one at a time or many at once. Music accepts me and I accept music. It is always there.

It can take me places I've never been, it can be very familiar, it can bring back long last memories. I love performing live. Live performance is not a about perfect pitch, playing perfect, or steady tempo ... its about a feeling. Conveying emotion, transfering energy. I love it!"

That's exactly how it is.... Your passion will frusturate you to death, but your love is stronger.

Thought the following, would motivate you as it did me:

1. Control your destiny or someone else will
2. Face reality as it is, not as it was, and not as you wish it were
3. Be candid, up front, and be totally honest with everyone
4. Don't "manage" people. Lead by example.
5. Change before you are forced to. Be in control of the change and the pace of the change
6. If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete. Either get a competetive advantage or get out of the game.





Friday, January 06, 2006

I AM A CHOPSTICK PRO!!!!!!

I want to tell you all that I did yesturday..... but words cannot describe. I was completely in another world, and for the entire day thought of nothing but the moment..... wanting to stay in it for as long as possible.
I wanted something different, something adventurous......
When my bf picked me up, I had no idea where he was taking me. We ended up in "Gatineau"
at the "Museum Of Civilization". Wow!!!! What remarkable things.... ancient pottery, todem poles, beadwork beyond your imagination, clothes of animal skin, carvings of tree bark. I could go on forever.
Then there was the "IMAX Theatre", where we travels to Santa's Work Shop. Oh..... the colors.
and most exciting our trip down the "Nile"..... Beginning in Ethiopia, through Sudan, to Egypt. We faced raging waters, immense heat, alligators, water falls, desserts..... pyramids. My imagination has been worked over time.
As if that weren't enough.... we ended up at a restaurant called "Japanese Villiage", and I must state that I am officially "A CHOPSTICK PRO"!!! Well almost.
I will do my best to explain the uniqueness of this experience. The atmospere was peaceful, romantic, dimmly lit. Each table formed a lengthy "U" shape.... Each with it's own table top grill.
WOW!!! So the food is prepared and cooked right in front of your very eyes. Soooooooo delicious!
Mmmmmmmmmm. Steak, chicken, vegetables, rice....... cooked to perfection.
I tried for the first time, "Saki", immediate rosiness to my cheeks, who needs blush??
I've never had wine like that b4.... ever. Served warm.

Currently looking for the best tasting wine.....
Last time we picked up a bottle of "Wolf Blass (Yellow Label)" from Australia.
Last night we experimented with a taste of Italy...... "Rocca delle Macie (Tenuta Sant' Alfonso)"
Please tell me what u think is the best tasting wine. White or Red.

Watched a movie "Lemmony Snicket", not to be confused with Jimminy Cricket.... lol!!
I've lost my mind.

My senses are out of whack!!!!!!!!!!! And I think I've started the day with too much coffee!
What will my boss think when I show up at work.... off my rocker???? I'm so wired!!! And Friday is my favorite day of the week!!!! I know, I know.... that was so random. Out of nowhere!

Totally off topic again..... I just got new running shoes.
And A NEW BOOK!!!!! I am yes..... a book nerd!!!

OK..... b4 u begin to think... "Is this a novel I'm writing???" I will end it here.



THE END

Monday, January 02, 2006

Sensory Overdrive

It's the little things in life that count.....
Today was pure sensory madness. System on complete overdrive.
Went to the music store this morning, and couldn't take my eyes off the keyboard beauties. WOW!!! Sat down in front of a $10,000 digital keyboard with monitor, foot pedal, weighted keys..... complete ecstacy.
Wait!!! There's more. Ever heard of a store called "Lush"???? Dangerous..... I think I must have smelled every single soap bar, b4 we left. All homemade soaps.... I'm determined to find the recipe's.

Next stop: Book store!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaay!! I must've walked in there with the biggest smile on my face. Everything seemed untouchable.... I didn't even know where to begin? Began with the art section of course.... Drawing, Photography, "Leonardo Da Vinci" sketches, then onto poetry, screenwriting, and music. I rehashed my love for writing in an instant.... now thinking about taking up "Professional Writing" as a career.

Went to a new restaurant in "China Town" , I forget the name??? And had my first hand's on experience with chop sticks. I surprised myself, really. I managed to not spill anything all over myself. Bonus!
It was an awesome night..... so many surprises, and I couldn't have asked for a better date.
All in all.... I've been figured out. Touch, taste, smell, sight, and what beautiful sounds..... Squeeze that all into one day..... and I'll forget my name.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

A Wish With No End

I'm surrounded by family..... I wish I could describe how much that means to me. So many years taken for granted when all of us sisters lived under the same roof.
Now it seems that we have all grown up, living our own separate lives..... So when we all come together as one, I almost wish moments like this would never end.

Count Down

10....9 ...8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
Has it been a whole year already?? Where has the time gone?
I spent New Year's last night at "Bobby's Bar & Restaurant" in Ottawa. My brother in law was filling in with a band called "Whistle Stop"..... What awesome talent!
I met a few people, with incredible personality... we exchanged email addresses, and so forth. It eases my mind slightly about the big move.
Take a small town girl and stick her in the city, it's unnerving leaving behind all that is familiar. A huge step out my comfort zone.
My second family is..... my job. Those who know me will vouch for it, maybe I obsess about it a little too much. But come on.... three years of my life has been dedicated to this restaurant. It is indeed my family, and the time has come where I must leave...... 16 days left..... that will pass quicker than the New year's count down.
16...15..14...13...12...11...10...9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1........... Good bye.