Nick's Restaurant

One year ago today, I sat around the dinner table with my family one last time. A second family, separate from my own, but just as close. They took me in, at the moment I needed them most. Welcoming me with open arms, and warm hearts.
Three years I worked at 'Nick's Restaurant'... and those three years no doubt made me into the person I am today.
I learned so much about myself, and about people. I learned what my weaknesses were, and I turned them into strengths.
I was encouraged by my boss and supervisor to push myself, to work harder. Self discipline. Focus. Pay attention. Things that until then I had taken for granted.
Most importantly I learned that I had to take responsibility for my own mistakes.
That there are times to be serious, and times to be funny, and that's definitely not on a Friday night.

'Had you been paying attention, instead of singing and dancing this wouldn't have happened.' My supervisor, was annoyed.
I had just unscrewed the Clamato juice when I then grabbed the Vodka to make a Caesar. Not only did I get distracted but I completely forgot that I had already unscrewed the lid. The cap was just resting on top. My supervisor had motioned me to shake it first. I did. Clamato juice everywhere.

'Look at people when they give you their order.' She told me on another occasion.
'Remember their face. Use your memory skills. Focus.' Previously I was delivering food to the wrong tables and dropping menu's of to tables who had already ordered.
'Hello, how are you this evening?' Only to get a blank stare. Awkward silence.
'My name is Michelle and I'll be taking your order tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?'
The man smiles, 'Were still waiting for our drinks.'

One night there was a valuable lesson my boss needed to teach me. My mistakes had to come with a price. Consequences. Time to think about what I had done.
It was a Friday night. Valentine's Day. My sister and brother in law had come in for supper around eight and that is when I took my break, to join them.
I completely didn't think about the clean up that I left for my co-workers. The dishes that needed to be done. I just saw an empty restaurant and a chance to satisfy my own selfish needs. My supervisor had left me that night, trusting that I would be on my best behavior. No goofing around. Focus. I failed that simple task.
She wanted me to think about what I had done and therefore gave me the entire week off. This was no 'Holiday'. I loved my job. That is where i wanted to be. I cried. I replayed the scenario in my head. 'Why weren't you thinking about others before yourself?' I was angry at myself.
Throughout the week my disappointment turned into humiliation. How can I possibly face my co-workers again? I've really screwed up this time. Will my mistake affect our relationship? I pictured my boss with a smug look, 'Well I hope you learned your lesson'. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was welcomed back with smiling faces and no one mentioned a word of my vacation.

After three years, I moved to Ottawa and later that same year I came back to my home town to have supper one last time with my second family. They sold the restaurant and this supper was to welcome the new owners, and say good-bye and good luck to the most wonderful people I know.
Thank you for giving me such and opportunity.
Love & Prayers.

Notebooks

Notebooks upon notebooks lie before me, filled with my deepest desires, dreams, fears, insecurities and past that I've learned to accept. People that I've learned to forgive, lies that wouldn't let me rest until I told the truth.
I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I've done. I accept that I haven't always made the right choice, and that I have made a lot of mistakes, but those mistakes have made me into the person I am today.

Letter of encouragement

It is very difficult to write what is in your heart. There is always that bit of fear that holds you back from writing the truth. During my process, I read that it could be very encouraging to write yourself a letter as though it were from a friend. I did. When I get discouraged I look back on it, and it makes a world of difference.

Michelle,
I know that you have it in you. The words. The talent. The gift.
A gift that you can either keep to yourself or share with others. You have such passion. Let your words speak through that passion. You don't need to hide. You don't need to be afraid. This fear of baring your soul is helping you through a process. The process of healing. To heal means being honest. It means ripping the bandages off old wounds, and bringing them to the surface. It will not be easy, but you can do it. I have faith in you. I believe in you.
When you fall I'll be right there there to help you on your feet. I will be by your side every step of the way, encouraging you to move forward. Let the journey begin.
Always & Forever,
Your Friend

Hunger for words

Creativity has surfaced, with undying spirit.
Never again will I lose it, out of weakness.
The more I feed my hunger for words, my starving soul finds strength.