Out of place

I consider myself really lucky to have never experienced the pain of breaking any bones, or any other serious pain inflicted injury. To date; the only thing that comes to mind is the gash between my eyes when I was three which I remember very vaguely, the brick that was thrown at my head when I was about seven or eight, and well the contractions I felt before my epidural with Becca. Lucky... I would have to say.

Today, while I was at the park with Becca she asked to go in the swings. Routinely I picked her up and placed her in the swing, and carried on a conversation with another mother, when a little girl suddenly broke free of her fathers grasp and ran right into the path behind Becca's swing. I made a grab for it with a very awkward twist in my arm, that when the swing stopped mid swing the force ripped my shoulder right out or it's socket. The pain was unreal for a couple seconds, until I threw my shoulder back in an attempt to pull myself together before I made a big scene. It worked. Without skipping a beat I continued on with my conversation as though nothing had happened, and thanked my lucky stars... for only a couple seconds of suffering.

A great day

After much venting yesterday, I neglected to mention the highlights.
We had a wonderful Saturday, packed full of activity. I have been introducing myself to a few other daycare providers in this area, as when you work from home... it takes more work to socialize and stay connected. I came across an ad for a new daycare looking to launch by September, and I thought 'What a great opportunity to introduce myself.' And so we had emailed each other back and forth for several weeks, before we decided that we should meet with the kids at the park. Perfect. Her daughter is just one year older than Becca. What made this little meet up so incredibly wonderful, was just the simplicity of being so thoughtful. Upon meeting everyone I can't help but ask 'Do you like coffee?' It is just one thing I love to sip on... and I enjoy making it for anyone and everyone. It is like my social, ice breaker.
When she arrived with her family, right away we recognized each other from our exchanged photos. Her family looked even more beautiful in person. 'Because you like coffee so much, we picked you up one from Tim Horton's.' A wonderfully delicious black coffee with all the fixings on the side. Now... that was just fantastic. Just the thought... Made my day! After chatting for over an hour, and letting the children run free we went our separate ways... and both agreed... we must get together again very soon.

This week, I made plans with Christine (mother of one of Becca's little daycare friends) to take the girls to the Avenmore fair. After my little meet up at the park, on the way home Christine came by to pick us up. Perfect timing.
It was great. The girls went on a few rides, got to feed some animals, and had a private puppet show.

When I got home, I received a phone call from my sister Patti. She wanted a date night, and asked if I could Babysit. Seeing as how Becca has been talking non stop about getting together with Chrysler and Hudson very recently... I jumped at it. 'Bring em' on over'.

They're stay went by too fast. I took them all to the park, gave them a fun princess bath (that even Hudson enjoyed) and finished with a lovely bedtime story. I set up the playpen for Hudson, and the cot in Becca's room for Chrysler. I told the girls that once I put them to bed, that they need to stay on their beds, and if I heard them up and playing I would move Chrysler's bed out of the room. I couldn't help but smile to myself when I turned out the lights and shut the door, to hear Chrysler say to Becca, 'Becca, wanna play?'
In which Becca responded, 'No Chrysler. Mommy said if she hears us playing, she will take your bed out of my room.'
Followed by complete silence, until Patti came to pick up her two sleeping beauties.

So the day was indeed... a great day.

Venting... thanks for reading.

I couldn't have asked for a better neighborhood to raise a family. It's peaceful, quiet, and so amazingly beautiful. I still shake my head of this reality. Am I dreaming?

But today... I was just... let's say speechless. I took Becca out for our early morning walk around 8am, the weather was perfect. A nice breeze swept through Riverdale, and kept the heat at bay. We were the first to arrive at the park, as it gets really busy between 9:30-10am, and what I saw made my anger boil.

We have an amazing park that draws in people from all over the city, it's maybe one of the only parks in Cornwall with plenty of shade and space to run around. I am at that park for hours with Becca and the daycare kids almost every day.

But today... there was litter like I have never seen. The entire park was littered with bottles, cans and garbage. Before anyone else arrived, I did a clean up. There was a whiskey bottle that had been shattered, and broken glass lay everywhere. Shards of glass mixed in with the stones beneath the structure. I picked up all that I could find, and warned all the mothers to watch out around that area, as the kids like to fill their buckets with the pebbles.

That is just the tip of the ice burg. I am just so frustrated with the lack of respect for our beautiful neighborhood. Not just the teenagers who partied in the park last night, but the fact that even though the cops were called nothing happened, and I shouldn't have had to encounter that mess this morning...that was very unsafe for children.

While I am on the subject of disrespect, there is yet one more thing I need to vent.
PEOPLE WHO OWN A DOG... AND CAN'T PICK UP AFTER THEM... SHOULDN'T OWN A DOG!!
It has been bad this past week. The amount of dog poop left on our sidewalks, is disgusting. Not only that, but there is an overwhelming number of people who can't read signs apparently. 'NO DOGS ALLOWED IN PARKS'!!
I took Becca, my niece and nephew to the park this evening after supper to burn off that last bit of energy and while we were there, there were three dogs at the park. Becca & Chrysler saw this adorable little black pug puppy and went to run over and pet it, just as it started to take a dump in the stones by the structure. The puppy's owner ran out to save my girls from stepping in her dogs crap by burying it in the stones with her foot.

I am angry at myself for not speaking up... and sometimes wish I had a bit of a backbone. As the park began to clear and as I packed up my last sand toy. I pulled a plastic bag from my pack, and set off to clean one last mess for the day.

Magic Beans

After supper this evening I sat out on the front porch with Becca to take in another hour of sun before dark. While we were sitting outside Becca started picking up these tiny little seeds on the ground. She wanted to plant them.
'Where is my watering can?' She asks. 'I need to plant these magic beans.'
She knows how to bring a smile to my face.

I managed to pull out half of the weeds in my garden... It's starting to look a little better. It felt really good to dig my hands deep into the cool earth. It filled me with a sense of being, relaxation... and in some strange way.. It's beautiful.

Bee Gone... with you.

I harassed my first wasp nest when I was six years old. It was before I knew what it was like to be stung. I was fearless of the unknown. I knew that there was a nest located in the shed, and so like a brave warrior ready for battle, my weapon of choice; a stick. With all my might I whacked the shed with my stick and challenged these wasps for a face off. They emerged from their nest more quickly than I could count. I began to swing, trying to wipe them out one by one, but there were simply just way too many for me to handle, alone. I ended up getting stung once, right between the eyes.

Since that defining moment of my first bee sting... I have been stung several times in the most unexpected moments, where either myself or the bee was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I never actually began to fear bees until Becca was born. I could not stop myself. In a panic, I would scoop Becca up in my arms and make a run for it. It was a horrible feeling.

Just this past weekend while visiting a friend, we noticed a very large bee hive hanging at the very tip of a tree branch about 10 feet above our heads. It was our mission to take that thing down, and I saw it as an opportunity to face my fear head on. My friend's husband began throwing rocks, wood... whatever he could find, while I stood behind him armed to two full cans of bug spray. I wasn't taking any chances.. I had a net over my head, and wore a heavy sweater even though the heat was scorching.

Enough was enough. After many failed attempts at throwing rocks, I was feeling the heat, and getting very frustrated. I grabbed the high pressure hose and sprayed the nest until it hung heavy with the weight of water. Hundreds bees began to swarm the hive, and at this point it was time to throw rocks again, while I continued hosing it down. I was discovered by a very angry wasp, and threw the hose to make a run for the front door, only to find that the door was locked. I turned to face my doom with my two cans held high... but I must have lost him. Thank goodness.

With three really good hits... the hive broke apart, and then came the spray. It felt like the makings of an episode of 'Billy the exterminator', only more entertaining. I can't say that we were experienced or that we knew what we were doing but most importantly: Mission accomplished. By the next day they were all gone. Anyway... That was my brave moment. It feels good to conquer fear.

What did I do?

I was visiting the water park the other day with Becca when a call came in on my cell phone.
'Hello' I say.
'Hello, Is this Michelle?' A male voice, that I didn't recognize from the other end asks.
'Yes?' I say hesitantly... with my mind in a flurry, trying to figure out who it is. Often a voice sounds somewhat familiar and takes a few seconds, but this time I had absolutely no clue.
'Hi my name is.... I'm from the Cornwall Police.' Go figure, I couldn't remember his name right after he introduced himself... What I heard was POLICE.. and it's funny that my first initial thought was 'What did I do?' And as my thoughts raced, and knew that there was nothing I could have done my second thought was... that regardless.. whatever this police officer had to say... would be bad news. I braced myself for the worst.

'I'm driving down Dover Street... and I have this bag with your name in it that I found hanging. Is it garbage?'
I can't even begin to explain the relief that released my body from a state of paralyzation. I knew exactly what bag he had... My bag of sand toys that must have fell from my wagon just the other day. I explained to the officer that I was out of town, and he offered to drop it off, so I gave him my address. Sure enough when I got home there it was outside waiting for me.

Obsessed

From about grade 7 through grade 13, I had a horrible obsession with my hair. I couldn't stand it. It seemed to be the only thing that stood between me and happiness or so I thought. It was always the punch line of the next joke...
'Have you been climbing up a tree lately?'
I had to think about it... because I was indeed a tree climber.
Innocently I responded, 'No, why?'
'Because you have a big bird nest on the top of your head' She laughed. Followed by the rest of my class. I wanted to think of something mean and cruel about her, many things came to mind, but I knew that it could really hurt her feelings... I didn't want that, even though she had crushed my self esteem just the minute before.

Just before I was about to enter high school, I was so excited to go to a hair salon for the first time (my mom had always cut my hair) I told her that I wanted a new look. I made the mistake of going in, without a plan. I just told her I wanted to look good. I walked out of the salon holding back the tears, and bit my tongue when the hair stylist asked 'what do you think?'

My first thought was that my hair had a striking resemblance to Elvis Presly. She had cut what looked like side burns, and she left a little length on the top that puffed out... and needed a tonne of hair glue to hold down, so my hair was always hard as a rock. When my hair finally grew out, I was still never happy with it.
I spent countless hours doing, then re-doing my hair, crying... and what became of my big hair was an obsession. I would have done anything and everything to not relive the pain of the constant teasing that followed me all throughout my elementary years, and so I began to pull. If after doing my hair, any strands or chunks looked out of place, instead of crying out in frustration and starting over, I would simply just pull the hair out from the root. I have lost count of how many times I've pulled out my hair, once I even did so, not realizing my sister was right beside me. When she saw the chunk of hair in my hand, she stood shocked. I hadn't even so much as flinched, when I had wrapped my fingers around a big chunk of hair... fueled by raging anger that numbed any feelings of pain... I pulled.

Every day I would curse 'I hate my hair'... until one day I realized, in absolute horror... some hair is better than no hair. On August 6th (my birthday), a few weeks before beginning my final year of high school, it happened. What I would define as the worst day of my life up until that point. I was camping with my family at Sandbanks beach when I decided I would make breakfast for everyone. Having never operated a BBQ before, I turned on the gas, and gave it a few minutes. I went about my business and got a little distracted, before I remembered breakfast. I picked up the small box of matches, striking one, I leaned in to ignite a flame. Only what came towards me before I even had time to react was a huge ball of fire. I jumped back. Relief swam through me, I was not burned. I wasn't hurt, but there was a very distinct foul smell. Burnt plastic? Sulpher? At this point my sisters had gathered around to see what the commotion was. Each movement I made snowed burnt ash everywhere, but I had absolutely no idea where it was coming from. It was my sister who pointed out, that my hair had been burned. My first reaction was to feel with my hands, only to see more burnt ash snowing all around me. I had so much hair product in my hair that my shoulder length hair in some places had singed straight to the root. What was left needed to be cut.

I went from fussing over my hair for hours to basically getting out of bed and going. Every ritual I had ever known, was gone. My hair, which had become my identity, was no longer a number one priority. After many many haircuts, and more then two years of short hair... I was letting it grow out.

Again, with all of the awkward in between growing phases... I fussed over my hair. Each and every day was an opportunity for a new look, and an up-do that looked as though I had just left the salon and was off to some special occasion. I had decided I would not allow myself to pull out any hair, even though the urges on some days were so strong and hard to ignore. What I craved was the attention and compliments, I would get. It was like shedding off ten pounds, and getting noticed for it. I was on top of the world, and now.. my biggest insecurity was now my strongest asset.

Fast forward a few more years...

After having a baby... surviving the first year, with thankfully not burning the house down. (making baby food, requires a timer. I realize now how easily I am distracted and lose focus) My hair was the last thing on my mind. I would save the up-dos for those special occasions, and mostly tie it back in a pony tail or wear it down. YES!!! Wear it down!! Big, curly and wild!! I love how it's not a touchy subject anymore. When I hear 'Your so small, and you have really big hair' I laugh and say 'I know'. Obviously... I see it in the mirror every day... It's kind of hard to miss. I think it's just funny... how priorities change. What was so important... is just not that important anymore. I admit though.. Once, very recently... I cried over a bad hair cut. I don't get it cut very often. It is now a tradition, once a year (mother's day) and this mother's day cut was a little disappointing... which really inspired this little blast into the past. As I lay in bed... that night, I began to write. I was very emotional, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me.. why? It was just hair, and hair grows back... but at that moment I felt so discouraged. After writing for an hour or so... I had uncovered all of those memories. Some had been long forgotten... but it was a trigger held deep in my subconscious just waiting to be found. It was a healing process. After all that emotion had been unleashed... I couldn't help but laugh.

Make the best of the worst.....

So we didn't get away this weekend like we had planned. Things happen. And sometimes they are beyond our control, but we just have to deal and make the best of it. So instead of moping around the house, we found ourselves on many adventures right here close to home, and did so on a great budget, I might ad.

Just goes to prove that you can have quality family time without spending a bundle of money... and the kids can't tell the difference!

So here you have it: Our weekend adventures

Thursday (Canada Day)
We spent the morning & afternoon up in Iroquois with my family. My mom, dad and all of my sisters and kids came out to enjoy a day of great entertainment & BBQ! Becca had an amazing time jumping on about 6 different bounce castles, getting her face painted, and dancing with her cousin Chrysler.

Afterwords we drove back to Cornwall and headed down to Lamoroux Park to watch the Fire Works!! I still can't believe Becca made it... 3 hours past her bedtime.

Friday July 2nd
We were a little bummed out this morning, as our plan to take off for the day, well didn't happen... but what can you do?
So we decided to hike it down the scenic route back down to Lamoroux Park, so that Becca could enjoy this beautiful day playing on the splash pad. Even I enjoyed getting a little wet. The most amazing part is that I have never been on any of Cornwall's bike paths, so it really felt like we were somewhere else. The highlight of my day... and 100% FREE, you just have to be able to appreciate nature's beauty.
All in all our trip both ways lasted close to 5 hours. I'm quite happy to be back at home to get in some relax time.