tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203040212024-03-05T19:50:05.471-05:00Michelle's BlogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-20220420555124303452013-07-10T21:07:00.002-04:002013-07-10T21:07:15.313-04:00Summer Fun!!I am thoroughly enjoying my time at home with Becca and Abby. Every day is one new adventure after another, and no two days are alike. Our days are full of unexpected surprises, I never know what each day will bring. <br />
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Each morning Abby wakes up with a beaming smile. She lies on her belly, and pulls the bumper pad down enough to rest her chin on. When I come into the room she kicks her legs with excitement. We have a wonderful breakfast together, which follows with fruit. Abby loves berries of every kind. She grabs them by the fist full, squeezes them and then compacts them all into her little mouth. <br />
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Just the other day, I brought out Abby's ball. We spent quite an amount of time passing it back and forth between us, before Abby smiled and said.. 'Baw'. Her first word other then mama and dada.<br />
Followed by 'Daw' and her panting like a dog. In just a few weeks my baby girl will be one. I can hardly believe it's been a year. Where has the time gone? <br />
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Becca is an amazing big sister, she absolutely adores Abby. She is always playing with Abby and pretending that is her baby. Sometimes I need to remind her that Abby is a little person, not a doll.<br />
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Becca, Abby and I have been swimming alot lately. Abby absolutely loves the water, and Becca is just learning how to swim. Her determination astounds me. She leaps from the ladder into the water and gives it her hardest doggy paddle, she wanted me to let her go on her own until she sunk. I pulled her up just as her head sunk bellow the surface and she excitedly beamed 'that was good for a first time, right mama?'<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-66941088954156476522013-04-23T20:31:00.001-04:002013-04-23T20:31:33.361-04:00Numb Feel (Revised)I wrote this poem in my very early twenties... It brought focus into my life, and made me realize that I needed to make some really big changes. I've finally revised, and completed the final draft and dedicate this poem for anyone struggling with addiction.<br />
<br />
<b>Numb Feel</b><br />
Fast asleep, body numb<br />
Can't move, can't speak, can't undo what's been done<br />
Addiction will tell you nothing but lies, <br />
to numb your brain, to just get high.<br />
Numb the pain, the inside anger.<br />
Numb the sirens, red lights of danger.<br />
Numb your spirit, let the fire die.<br />
Numb your emotions, there's no need to cry.<br />
Numb your love for the hurt it brings,<br />
Numb yourself of all things.<br />
Numb your body of the hurt in the past,<br />
Numb the memories you don't want to last.<br />
To enjoy the moment that brings you power, entertainment, and release.<br />
To not think about the one's you've tried forever, and still cannot seem to please.<br />
<br />
Time to make changes, because numbing out the world will not solve your problems.<br />
Open your eyes take a look around, so that when problems arise you can solve them.<br />
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Let go of the imperfections you cannot change.<br />
Let go of the insecurities, the people you blame.<br />
Let go of the one you compare yourself to, <br />
the one you wish to walk a day in their shoes.<br />
Let go of the shame you hold onto, <br />
before it becomes your life, before it controls you.<br />
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Forgive the one who broke your heart, the one you now despise.<br />
Forgive the one who told you so, the one who thinks she's so wise.<br />
Forgive the one who laughs in your face, when something doesn't go right.<br />
Remember we all make mistakes, and from darkness there is light.<br />
Remember the opportunity that passed you by? <br />
When you thought you were not good enough and never bothered to try.<br />
Who cares about the possibility you won't get picked, <br />
if it doesn't work out, atleast you tried it.<br />
<br />
Take time away for yourself, think about how you truly feel.<br />
Without addiction to hide behind, the truth will be revealed.<br />
Feel the painful memories, let the healing begin.<br />
Feel the strengths you have inside not the weaknesses within.<br />
Feel the love, mend your broken heart.<br />
Feel the hurt that made you fall apart.<br />
Feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders,<br />
Feel the comfort when someone holds you.<br />
Feel the moment that brings you pleasure with no shame,<br />
for all the times you cross that line, you've only yourself to blame.<br />
You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be like someone else.<br />
Feel the need to be you, and no one else, otherwise you'll lose yourself.<br />
Feel these feelings, deal with them as they come.<br />
Numbing it out, holding it inside, the battle cannot be won.<br />
Feel the courage to ask for help.... you don't need to go through this alone.<br />
And love will lend you a helping hand, love will guide you home.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-89851132775672241842013-04-23T10:02:00.000-04:002013-04-23T10:02:22.317-04:00Appreciate what you already haveIts been months since Ive been on my blog. Since Ive written anything at all. In truth, I have been avoiding it. I know that I need to get back in the swing of things and keep pouring my heart out, because essentially that is my way of healing. <br />
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I am feeling somewhat better with the nice weather now in season, beckoning me out hybernation. For awhile there I really just wanted to isolate myself from the world, but slowly one day at a time I am taking small baby steps forward. <br />
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My girls are my inspiration, my motivation, my joy, my purpose and that is enough to keep me going through these times of hardships. Ive surrounded myself with the small things that bring me inner joy, peace and harmony. I have God to guide me prayerfully in the right direction. I have the sweet essence and beauty of nature. I have the sights, smells, and wonders of the world right at my finger tips... and I have an overflowing amount of love to be grateful for. I have my family and friends who have been there with me every step of the way through the tears, the laughter, the good, the bad and the ugly. I could not ask for more. Times are hard, yes, but God has given me strength and all that I need to keep moving forward.<br />
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I am still grieving my losses... and that is okay. Not everyone heals instantly, some wounds are deeper than others. I am learning a lot about myself in the process. Most of what I lost are just outter things... Not who I am. We are not defined by the home we live in, our jobs, the cars we drive, our bank accounts or our relationships even. It took losing all those things for me to realize that. That was a big lesson for me to learn... those things will not bring happiness if that is what you are searching for. I am turning to God to help me find inner joy, inner peace and confidence in who I am, and only then I will be ready for other things, but first I must appreciate what I already have.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-71265418416176370622012-11-02T19:46:00.001-04:002012-11-02T19:46:44.083-04:00Good-bye. There's just no sadder word to say<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-57781792502154547032012-10-29T12:03:00.003-04:002012-10-29T12:03:39.984-04:00Twinkle Twinkle Little StarMy oldest daughter 'Becca' who's now 5, has never been one to have temper tantrums. Sure there is the odd melt down, but she has developed a way of calming herself, and really communicating her feelings. It wasn't until the other night when she was really sad, and asked me to sing her 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' that gave me a flash back of Becca as a toddler. I remember the day like yesterday, that Becca completely lost it with the melt down of all melt downs. She had literally lost all control, and was unable to communicate her frustration to me. When I told her that she needed to try and calm herself down, she said something to me that really pulled at my heart strings.<br />
'I can't mommy. I can't calm myself down.' I knew then what I had to do. I could have reacted, threw my hands up in the air, and sent her to her bedroom... but no... I knew that I had to help her calm down, because she was not capable at that moment to do it on her own. I pulled her in close, cradled her body tight next to mine, rocked her back and forth and sang 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', over and over until she began to sing with me in between light sobs. We did this every time she 'lost it', and tempers became less frequent. It melted my heart that she remembered, and asked me to give her that comfort the other night... and so we both sang 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-719049532489131182012-10-15T20:28:00.003-04:002012-10-15T20:28:18.759-04:00RIP Monty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAsH530sU4EZJeSoU1xNtkhyphenhyphenTbHVdbrB5upgDLgTJWsjbOiKa334_FiyT7uHg2vIFI4yFY4GuxrHEW2N_CqKBuv4Yi6WyppeEp9afic6AfSnwUgVsT7LWCvUFAqUrllkc1WHgi/s1600/DSC02313%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAsH530sU4EZJeSoU1xNtkhyphenhyphenTbHVdbrB5upgDLgTJWsjbOiKa334_FiyT7uHg2vIFI4yFY4GuxrHEW2N_CqKBuv4Yi6WyppeEp9afic6AfSnwUgVsT7LWCvUFAqUrllkc1WHgi/s320/DSC02313%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-51741822662504618032012-10-08T15:56:00.001-04:002012-10-08T15:56:36.233-04:00It is Thanksgiving day and I have so much to be grateful for. I am grateful for family and friends who have been tremendously supportive during this most difficult time. I am grateful for my two beautiful girls that are the light of my life. I am grateful for my health, and the health of those close to me. I am grateful for the last three years under the roof of my home, the experiences and lessons that I have learned along the way... but I am also grateful to a new beginning, and hopeful that good will come out of starting over.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-20515514189026748162012-09-26T14:19:00.003-04:002012-09-26T14:19:52.523-04:00Now that Abby is almost 2 months old (on October 2nd) I figured that it's about time she graduates from her bassinette in our bedroom to her crib in her own bedroom. It was not the easiest decision, but my sleep is very important to me and the amount I was losing each night listening to all of her little baby grunts and stretches was starting to take it's tole. It's been 2 nights, and so far so good.<br />
I went to bed last night at 9:15pm, and woke up this morning with a little more energy than what I've been running on in the last few weeks. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-8874454540561873532012-09-20T14:12:00.001-04:002012-09-20T14:14:08.021-04:00Becca & Abby <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiqLA8_JIr18s1YrbucdwQVAd9aT1Yjf7yOoCUIwIQWBi5zqVcbutQy73lMwDu8oKQCb2rJYhD1LJn9DTLH3HFruWf0_t4YPrjmM3wix9PlEbqKSjjU2pGAsszX9EdBdwLCrm7/s1600/ab2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiqLA8_JIr18s1YrbucdwQVAd9aT1Yjf7yOoCUIwIQWBi5zqVcbutQy73lMwDu8oKQCb2rJYhD1LJn9DTLH3HFruWf0_t4YPrjmM3wix9PlEbqKSjjU2pGAsszX9EdBdwLCrm7/s320/ab2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The resemblance between Abby to her big sister Becca (in picture) at 4 weeks old brings a smile to my face</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Abby 7 weeks</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAW9wVLz9sPVYvkdzO1eFneoWq5IT8ujOVH053KOSIVRnNA7-S9PQWg8tjUXn2iWSGZh2nf27vxH73xRQr300-TpDNNTW-_Cn00uV-bVkrpCKwhXyWCuhiRQgvfHB6KvuYsfnr/s1600/be.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAW9wVLz9sPVYvkdzO1eFneoWq5IT8ujOVH053KOSIVRnNA7-S9PQWg8tjUXn2iWSGZh2nf27vxH73xRQr300-TpDNNTW-_Cn00uV-bVkrpCKwhXyWCuhiRQgvfHB6KvuYsfnr/s320/be.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Becca 8 weeks</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-2491347492844116752012-09-17T09:37:00.001-04:002012-09-17T12:09:20.914-04:00One tired momma<span style="font-size: small;">The last few nights have been miserable with both Becca and Abby sick with colds. Becca's been on her asthma pump for days, and Abby is having a real hard time sleeping due to really bad congestion. So feedings have been stressful on both of us. I've noticed the last few days that sleep deprivation is taking it's tole on my already cloudy mommy brain. Just the other day <span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I went shopping with my sister, I misplaced my keys 3 times,
lost a baby blanket and my sweater... but the worst was at the checkout
when I glanced over at my Abby's empty bucket seat and thought...
oh, god where's the baby?? It was then that I realized that I was
holding her.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Becca got her first big hair cut on the weekend, it looks amazing. Not only that but it's so much easier to comb through, and I'm wondering why I didn't have it done much sooner. There was something about the way she slept that left her hair with really bad tangles that was extremely time consuming and painful for her to work through with a comb. So I am very pleased with the results of her new do. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZXjfMp7loeTSH0rg4JGL5p1l07mrfAXoFdP6LvDOy72VXG57EqV_Rqq2UsJQExysaK4-vDWH6k_784GZkUk1ptq8DHhtGtzw_dM9i3BmgUssFUMv9-GQ7roY20wvzwTkbqjch/s1600/hc2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZXjfMp7loeTSH0rg4JGL5p1l07mrfAXoFdP6LvDOy72VXG57EqV_Rqq2UsJQExysaK4-vDWH6k_784GZkUk1ptq8DHhtGtzw_dM9i3BmgUssFUMv9-GQ7roY20wvzwTkbqjch/s320/hc2.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After</td></tr>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><br /></span></span></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-48886221478087653982012-09-06T22:27:00.001-04:002012-09-17T12:08:33.328-04:00Lyrics from the heart of a mom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If I had one song for my girls, this would be it.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-37038376688049533812012-09-06T22:00:00.000-04:002012-09-17T12:07:48.047-04:00Lucky # 5Both of my girls are 5!!! Becca five years old, and Abby is 5 weeks old today! Dave took her today for her doctor's appointment, she weighs now 10lbs. 12oz. Abby gained one whole pound since last week. I just packed away all of her 3 month sleepers, where her toes were about to burst through the bottoms, out came the 3-6 month clothes.<br />
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Becca started school this week. It's an adjustment for all of us. There's been a couple mornings of tears, and Becca asking to stay home. Hopefully, it will get a little easier... as we've started to get back to our school night bedtime routine.<br />
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The daycare is open again full swing with a much smaller and older group. I've got my two three year old boys full time and a few drop ins a coupe of hours a week. It's actually really nice running the daycare upstairs and soaking up that beautiful sunshine coming in through the windows.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-46514285536466018822012-08-20T10:29:00.000-04:002012-08-20T10:29:35.128-04:00And then there were twoAbigail is now just over two weeks old and already she's outgrown her newborn sleepers. When did that happen? It's been very busy around here, which is expected of course... but among the whole shift of adjustment to life with a newborn and a five year old, there is also some major renovations taking place. Shortly after coming home from the hospital we received the unwelcome news about the flooding in our basement, which had happened only a few days prior. It turns out that we need to have all of the pipes replaced, so sometime this week there will be a crew jack hammering my basement floor to bits. It was heart breaking news, but in the end everything kind of worked itself out.<br />
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On the bright side, Abby is an amazing baby. I look at her and I can't get over the resemblance to Becca at that age. Becca absolutely adores her baby sister and is such a big helper. She involves herself in every diaper change, every burp, every feeding, every bath. She talks to Abby, plays with her. sits with her propped up all nice and snug with my nursing pillow. My nursing pillow... why didn't I invest in one of those with Becca? It makes feeding time so much easier, on both of us. <br />
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Slowly but surely we are trying to get Abby on a routine. First and foremost we are trying to switch around our nights to days so that Abby's 3 hour fully alert waking in the middle of the night, takes place during the day. This means trying to keep my comatose baby awake a little more during the day which is nearly impossible when she is such a deep sleeper. Thank goodness Becca is a really good sleeper at night, she is immune to Abigail's midnight fuss and doesn't hear a thing. In fact she even comments the next day, 'Abby is such a good sleeper, I didn't hear her at all'. After weeks of Dave and I explaining to Becca that babies cry, and night times will be an adjustment for all of us. So I am glad that atleast one of us is sleeping peacefully. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-47614373353074510062012-08-10T16:41:00.002-04:002012-08-10T16:50:23.697-04:00Baby Abby is here!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Finally baby Abby has arrived!!! It's been a really busy week, and I just haven't had the time to sit down and write... so this is just a quick update.<br />
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Abigail Lauren Moquin was born Thursday August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:23pm, weighing 7lbs. 9oz. and 19' 1/2 inches long. I went in at 7:30am and was induced by 8:10am, and from there labor progressed rather quickly. It was the most beautiful moment when she finally made it into my arms, and so special for Becca to finally meet her little sister.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-51695389883407599872012-07-27T23:33:00.002-04:002012-09-17T12:21:16.281-04:00Due any day nowToday was my actual due date, but like Becca (who was eight days late), it seems that baby Abby is following suit, and must be quite comfortable right where she is. I am just hoping that she holds off until after tomorrow, as Dave will be playing in 'Rib Fest' with his band 'SwitchGear'. I am really looking forward to going with Becca, and mom and dad who will be coming to Cornwall tomorrow... for some great food and entertainment.<br />
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This week has been a busy one... This past Monday I had taken Becca swimming with a friend and her two boys. We came back to the house for some snacks, and out of the blue Becca just started screaming. 'Mommy I've been stung, a bee... a bee stung me.' I ran over to her, and saw the wasp caught up in her hair, and without any hesitation I scooped her up and swatted it away. It broke my heart to see my girl in so much pain, something I had hoped she would never experience, but my brave girl was over it five minute later. She wanted the world to know, that she had been stung... and even today five days later I heard her telling her story.<br />
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I was at the pool again with Becca today, and held her as she practiced her doggy paddle. 'Ok, mommy... let go.' She tried her hardest to stay a float, but she knew that mommy was there by her side to help. We came home, and got straight into our pajamas... I had planned on going to bed early but as tired as my body is, I can't seem to shut my mind off.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">39 weeks pregnant</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">39 weeks pregnant</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-58578296053191823492012-07-14T23:08:00.000-04:002012-07-14T23:08:19.994-04:00Less than two more weeks to go before we finally get to meet our baby Abigail. I can hardly wait!!!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-24492463976329597262012-06-19T23:00:00.003-04:002012-06-19T23:00:49.039-04:00Catch UpIt's been a few weeks since I've have the time to sit down and write on my blog so I thought I would take a moment to catch up.<br />
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The daycare is still running smoothly, and will continue right up until the end of July... but before then, some of my little ones will be finishing up with me in the next few weeks. My first to leave will be Morgan, with her last day (this Friday) quickly approaching, I can't promise that there will be no tears. Morgan, began daycare with me when she was about 18 months old, and now she is 4 1/2 and starting a summer daycare where she will be going to school this fall. I've watched her grow from a toddler to such an extraordinary little girl over the last few years, and have seen a beautiful friendship grow between Morgan and Becca that I feel so blessed to have been a part of. I would have to say that saying good-bye is probably the hardest part of my job.<br />
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Another little one of mine with his final weeks coming to a close is a very special little man. He is my smallest little guy, with the biggest smile, an amazing spirit always doing something to make me laugh, and always in such a great mood. It will not be the same around here without him.<br />
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But... the wonderful thing that I share in common with the mommies of the two above, is that we are all expecting. Morgan's mommy in the fall, and my little man's mommy is due two weeks before me.<br />
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Becca is almost finished her first year of school 'Junior Kindergarten' for the summer. Tomorrow her class is going on a field trip to the bird sanctuary at Upper Canada Village. Becca is thrilled that she happens to also be the leader for that day, and has been looking forward to it all week.<br />
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Baby Abigail is growing like a wild weed. I am all belly this pregnancy. From behind I just look like I normally would, until I turn to the side it looks as though I am carrying a basketball under my shirt. 5 more weeks to go!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-74311305225264369652012-06-04T14:04:00.002-04:002012-06-04T14:04:18.713-04:0031 Weeks and countingThe weeks seem to be flying by like days. I'm sure I say that a lot, but lately it has been so busy, that before I know it I am another week further along in my pregnancy. I met with Dr. Levac today to go over my blood sugar results that I have been recording this past week. It seems that I am doing well with changing my diet, but there is still room for improvement. Atleast now I have an idea of what works, and what does not. I am almost 32 weeks pregnant, and so far so good. At this point baby Abigail's expected rate of growth is about 1/2 a pound a week until she is born. So basically between now and then she will double in size. She is moving around so much now, and sliding her little limbs along my belly so that I look lopsided and slightly deformed. It's quite entertaining.<br />
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Becca can hardly wait to hold her baby sister, she's always talking and kissing into my belly every chance she gets. I am so glad that I have that 5 year age gap between the two, it's just amazing to see Becca so involved, and so excited to meet Abigail, that I feel like this was the best decision for us to wait.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-60649795151992348942012-06-02T14:09:00.003-04:002012-06-02T21:50:35.997-04:00A journey of self discovery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been devouring myself lately in self help books. Mostly guides on how to improve my writing skills, how to uncover and rediscover creativity and be healthy. There are so many things that I want to be able to do, and so much knowledge and wisdom out there to learn from. So to narrow it down to small baby steps, I will begin with my top three wants.<br />
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1. First and foremost I want to be healthy, because without my health everything else that I want will probably just disintegrate with exhaustion, depression and illness. I need to eat healthier, go to bed earlier, exercise and really take the time to meditate on all of the positives in my life because there is just so much to be grateful for. So this want, is my first priority.<br />
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2. I want to discover who I am as an artist. This is another big want, because deep down I know that I was meant to have a place in the creative world. I am one that needs the freedom to explore with no time restrictions, or pressing deadlines. One that is fascinated by learning, travel and nature... My spirit craves the big open wilderness, and flees from any sort of bounds of domestication. It is my desire to someday travel the open road without a map, or any particular destination in mind, and that is exactly where I want to be with my writing. Unplanned, unpredictable, and spontaneous.<br />
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3. I want to strengthen my relationships with my family, friends, and acquaintances. I want to be known as a very loving, caring person who doesn't waste time holding grudges or let anger poison my soul. There is too much to be thankful for to let the negatives be anything more than a passing feeling that you can simply let go of. Life is too short.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-13944589380339714522012-05-23T23:21:00.000-04:002012-05-23T23:24:41.055-04:00Believe in yourselfI need to get into the habit of going to bed earlier, eating healthier, and exercising my mind, body and soul on a daily basis.
As far as writing goes I am trying to find small moments each day to spend quietly by myself, but as it happens... inspiration doesn't always strike in times when I am good, ready and waiting for it to come. I need to write, as I need to breathe. I need to practice, and explore my inner self without the pressure of producing something great and expectations that I must see instantaneous results. I forget that this is a process, one that cannot be rushed. One that will not happen overnight. This process is gradual, and must be taken one day at a time. Writing is for myself, with creations not meant to be graded. It is meant to be reckless. It is meant to explore. It is meant to make mistakes. It is a means of moving forward and remembering each day for what it is... a gift.<br />
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I have been waiting for what it seems like an eternity for something to happen. Something that grabs hold of me, shaking me to my senses. Then 'VOILA', it appears right in front of my very eyes and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was what I was meant to do. This is what I was created for. In reality I have absolutely no idea what I want or where I want to go. Something tells me, that maybe I should stop waiting and start looking. That perhaps what I have been waiting for, has been all along waiting for me to find 'it'.
Is that where I have lost faith? I have to see it to believe it? If it's not there in front of me, or if I don't have an answer it was never meant to be?
I admit I have my doubts. I fight doubt every single day, it seems that I am always second guessing myself. But... is it really doubt? or is it fear?<br />
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<b>Believe</b><br />
Believe in yourself<br />
Believe in love<br />
Believe in forgiveness<br />
Believe in trust<br />
Believe in others, as others believe in you<br />
Believe in making your dreams come trueAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-74879749713648612142012-05-16T13:40:00.001-04:002012-05-16T13:44:45.736-04:00They know me too well<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnr_P2WcIpwFGyzeoRMtg_fDw6vS6Lgo2veSsCz4RI6gX-p34ovoWjGFSeixxR0xoUqMHvpM-EfbUbeCNHn_6NOexZaghfVD7xsPWyCKwrUYmK8kOvvqUaaEeaORcE1krJ5HLE/s1600/DSC01243.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnr_P2WcIpwFGyzeoRMtg_fDw6vS6Lgo2veSsCz4RI6gX-p34ovoWjGFSeixxR0xoUqMHvpM-EfbUbeCNHn_6NOexZaghfVD7xsPWyCKwrUYmK8kOvvqUaaEeaORcE1krJ5HLE/s400/DSC01243.JPG" /></a></div>I don't buy it because I know I'll eat it all. You know it's a problem when your 5 year old reminds her daddy to hide the box before he goes to bed. I had to laugh when I saw this neatly wrapped bowl of cereal on the table this morning with the attached note.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-78460334623465508242012-05-12T12:53:00.000-04:002012-05-12T12:53:16.901-04:00Pregnancy UpdateSo I am just now over 28 weeks pregnant with 12 weeks left to go. I was referred by my doctor to a diabetic clinic to work on a diet plan for gestational diabetes. He doesn't think I will need to go on insulin, but I really need to watch what I eat in the next few months.
Our little Abigail is getting bigger and stronger by the day. There is lots of movement, kicks, and rolling around going on in there. It's just so amazing to feel and see, words can not even begin to describe the little miracle growing inside me. Becca is so excited to meet her baby sister.
My due date is July 27th, but I have a feeling that this little gal will be an early arrival. I remember thinking the same thing with Becca, and she was 8 days late, so I guess you never really know. They will come out when they are good and ready.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-25736713142897781042012-05-12T12:39:00.003-04:002012-05-12T12:39:52.287-04:00I thought that May would never come, with all off the busy chaos and April rush around I am finally able to relax and catch my breath. My sister Cindy had a beautiful wedding, and it was such an honor to stand by her side on her big day. Although it could have been a little warmer, it wasn't raining, so I guess I can't really complain. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm-goVw30rxMIbzqlwTQxDPi2cwi3eRUcv7LpCc6GHDQPZQoKE8rGE_lJbJwz7hr_XmSb-7T6lxzeUNVnrj7iYQL6vAWiOH7FAucZH1KB9OTluuh4tG7Z37mTHw-pJjc0euryj/s1600/weddress2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm-goVw30rxMIbzqlwTQxDPi2cwi3eRUcv7LpCc6GHDQPZQoKE8rGE_lJbJwz7hr_XmSb-7T6lxzeUNVnrj7iYQL6vAWiOH7FAucZH1KB9OTluuh4tG7Z37mTHw-pJjc0euryj/s200/weddress2.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-38392185708659100202012-04-22T21:39:00.002-04:002012-04-22T21:41:04.195-04:00Tea Party'Hello', I said, greeting all of our guests around the table. There was Becca, pink rabbit, and Barbie.
'That's not how we say it at a Royal Tea Party mamma' Becca corrected. 'We say, how do you do?'Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20304021.post-54650868139017299132012-04-14T20:02:00.002-04:002012-04-22T21:48:24.208-04:00Memories to last foreverTrying to relax and simply enjoy the weekend. I am visiting my parents home in Johnstown, and taking in all the new changes all around, which is taking quite a bit to get used to. There have been many renovations in their home over the last three weeks. It's almost as though everytime I look up, my eyes are playing tricks on me. I expect to see the dark plum colored living room, and it's now a neutral beige. Upstairs in our old bedrooms it's really bizzare... Looking at my little sister Cindy's old room, now missing the four floor to ceiling wall murals of life under the sea, is just strange. I remember her begging mom to let her paint just one shark, and how one shark became two, and through the passing months there became schools of fish, coral, seaweed, rocks, and more fish. It was like walking into an aquarium. All of that is now gone.<br /><br />And my old bedroom...with the African Lion Safari theme. I remember the rough patch I hit in my life when I decided to pick up my things and move out. Not exactly the best decision I ever made, and one that had me crawling back only three months later. As it turned out my roommate and her boyfriend carried an insane amount of drama that drove me to get the heck out of there as fast as I could. At that point, I had lost track of how many holes her boyfriend had put into the walls with his raging childlike fits, and I honestly just couldn't cope. I was indeed a rebellious young teenager who wanted to make my own rules, and honestly coming back home was the best decision. I remember coming back home and thinking, 'I cannot move back into that pink room' and so I expressed my wild side with a full bedroom make over... with safari themed inspiration. All of that is now gone.<br /><br />After all of us have now have spread our wings and left the nest, my mom and dad have decided that it is time to downsize. The colors have been painted over, but the memories will last forever.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17393136085554778552noreply@blogger.com0