Start Again

We've all had our up's & downs... the good times, and bad.
A few years ago, I wrote this song.. the true meaning of it has been a mystery, but lately the relationship that has required the most renovating is the one with my mother.
My mother is the world to me... I love her so much. I have so much respect for her, but as a rebelling teenager I took for granted all that she has done. She has always been there for me, always. I've grown and matured so much these last few years, and the relationship is blossoming.
Last year I took her to church for her birthday... was actually the first time I stepped into a church since I was a child. I know, on that day, God was watching over us. I could feel it. During the service I hugged her, and I didn't want to let go. I wanted to make up for my absence, right there all in just that moment. I will never forget that day! Ever!! Even now, that I have moved away from home.... for the second time, I hold you close and dear to my heart mom. I miss you!!!
Mom & dad till this day still go to church... Even though I'm not there, I'm still with you.
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Start Again
Hard to surface, I'm running out of air.
Don't know what direction, or anybody who cares?
I'm looking for an answer for this problem I'm into...
Cuz I can't figure it out or how to go about the situation.
I'm not giving up, I'm not letting go.
There's no one there but me... So why can't I be free?

Cuz I wanna hold on,
you only live so long,
and I'm trying to hide,
that I'm drowning inside.
I wanna turn things around,
I want me feet back on the ground.
I wanna start again.

If only I, could start again I'd try,
to make things better, instead of saying good bye
I'm struggling below the surface and I don't know why..
Cuz with out a doubt we can figure out this relationship.
I'm not giving up, I'm not letting go.
That's how it has to be, so why can't you see.

That I wanna hold on,
you only live so long,
and I'm trying to hide that drowning inside.
I wanna turn things around, I want my feet back on the ground.
I wanna start again.

So I called you on the phone..
"Is it to late to come home?"

Can you forgive me mom...
All along I was wrong
I'm so sorry that I, did not apologize.
No, I didn't call to fight only wandered if you might...
Give me a second chance?

So we can start again... I want to start again.