Appreciate what you already have

Its been months since Ive been on my blog. Since Ive written anything at all. In truth, I have been avoiding it. I know that I need to get back in the swing of things and keep pouring my heart out, because essentially that is my way of healing.

I am feeling somewhat better with the nice weather now in season, beckoning me out hybernation. For awhile there I really just wanted to isolate myself from the world, but slowly one day at a time I am taking small baby steps forward.

My girls are my inspiration, my motivation, my joy, my purpose and that is enough to keep me going through these times of hardships. Ive surrounded myself with the small things that bring me inner joy, peace and harmony. I have God to guide me prayerfully in the right direction. I have the sweet essence and beauty of nature. I have the sights, smells, and wonders of the world right at my finger tips... and I have an overflowing amount of love to be grateful for. I have my family and friends who have been there with me every step of the way through the tears, the laughter, the good, the bad and the ugly. I could not ask for more. Times are hard, yes, but God has given me strength and all that I need to keep moving  forward.

I am still grieving my losses... and that is okay. Not everyone heals instantly, some wounds are deeper than others. I am learning a lot about myself in the process. Most of what I lost are just outter things... Not who I am. We are not defined by the home we live in, our jobs, the cars we drive, our bank accounts or our relationships even. It took losing all those things for me to realize that. That was a big lesson for me to learn... those things will not bring happiness if that is what you are searching for. I am turning to God to help me find inner joy, inner peace and confidence in who I am, and only then I will be ready for other things, but first I must appreciate what I already have.